Supermodel? A blast from the past

Has Kate Upton revived something long thought dead? In this age of Internet instant gratification and youXXX is the Supermodel back? This is a revival on a Jurassic Park scale. No one would have thought this possible but just like when Bieber used the Internets to recreate the male teenage singer, also thought dead after Michael Jackson grew up, so Kate has rebirthed the Supermodel.

A lot of people have been pretending to be Supermodels, like Tom Brady’s Yoko wife, Gisele Bundchen and the other stars of Victoria Secret lingerie parade. Most ended up as fodder tossed out of Leonardo Dicaprio’s or George Clooney’s bedroom. Heidi Klum tried to rise to the top with her Halloween shenanigans and strange marriage to Seal (now divorced.) But they never had “it”. Either too skinny, too foreign, or too lacking in synapse firing skills none of these models rose to the top. They never broke out of their Vogue monologue and hit the mainstream.

Without Supermodels we have been filling in with reality stars – Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton; actresses – Scarlett Johansson or Megan Fox and failed actresses – Lindsay Lohan. We have also absorbed the strange hybrids full of the crazy – Tila Tequila I am looking at you here. But models? No.

Even Upton’s rise to fame was all rated PG. Paris and Kim had to resort to underground sex tapes. Kate? She made a tape all right. A tape of her doing the dougie at a clippers game. This endearing 5 minutes was not the reason in and of itself of her rise, as I doubt you or me doing the same thing would result in a modeling contract, but it was a huge catalyst in an oversaturated media driven world that allowed her cream to rise.

It was assumed porn stars had destroyed the youthful almost innocence associated with Super Models. Sport Illustrated? Really? Is Maxim magazine still even published? The days of a Kristy Brinkley poster hanging in some young male’s room of yesteryear were assumed to be supplanted by a flush of porn sites running the gamut of every possible taste imaginable.

Perhaps it was this overabundance of pornography (and the freeness of it that is destroying the porn industry) that left the door open for a fresh face from Michigan via Melborne to save the popular modeling industry. Since cash left the porn industry are there even real porn stars anymore? Who is left to spend $25 dollars on one DVD? And it is not like you want Blu Ray porn.

The evidence is piling up of her Super Modelness. Consider this ad. Is it something only a Supermodel could make? (Or a reality star in her prime which we used to replaced Supermodels. Nitpicker.)

http://www.longislandpress.com/2012/02/28/kate-upton-carls-jr-commercial-video/  (SNSFW) This is quite reminiscent of Cindy Crawford hocking Pepsi products back in the 90’s, a true demonstration of her SuperModel power. We haven’t seen the like since, at least not by anyone calling themselves models.

 

Is this a flash in the pan, a Jump Jive An’ Wail, moment or do we have a real rebirth? Has she made case that she made the leap and that she is a Supermodel? The upcoming days will tell. No matter what though, it is exciting to see something so old being something so new.

 

Who ya gonna cheer for?

We have one of the worst most unexciting Super Bowls coming up. Something I think most of us will barely be able to watch. This will not be a repeat of the feel good story of 2008 that captures a national audience. This is a regional bowl where only the fans of these cities will be able to muster the energy to care. This is like the Nazis versus Communists. You just wish both could lose and lose big.

So what to do? This is the Super Bowl after all. Normally the plan is to cheer for the underdog or the winner of the NFC. However that is Giants. Calling a team like that from New York underdogs is like saying the Titanic was a nice little boat. Cheering for them is just icky. With that plan right out what is Plan B?

Plan B starts with drinking. Lots of it. The game may suck but the party doesn’t have to. Just stay away from the game. Focus on the national anthem. Pay attention to the halftime show.

Guess what? That is not going to work. You are a sports fan. You will not be able to help taking a side. It is what you do. Since you will not be able to help yourself you might as well prepare so you can go into the game with a fan plan. Otherwise you might get caught up in the moment and end up cheering for a team you will later regret ever backing.

Let’s break this down scientifically so we can pick the right team.

       I.          Which city do you hate less?

This is a tough question as both cities are pretty terrible. However for me I have to go with Boston. We are only rivals in basketball. With NY I have strong rivalries in all sports. The cumulative hate is just greater even if none of the NY rivalries match the individual hate for the Celtics. Boston is also a better city in the “city” sense. They have a slightly higher historical class and you can respect the Garden or the Green Monster. MSG is the home of basketball but come on son, all NY football is played in NJ. In a swamp. Massive points lost here. Remember we are basically comparing Axe murderers to shooting spree murderers so it is very hard to say anything good about anything here.

     II.          Hall of Fame considerations / Legacy

This is the real determining factor to me. Let’s look at the two outcomes:

Patriots Win:

Is anyone getting into the Hall of Fame now who wasn’t before? Another Super Bowl win doesn’t add anything to Brady’s or Belichick’s resume. They were already in. Stopping a perfect season in 2008 would have given them a huge legacy boost. None of that is in play here. This will just be +1 and most likely will be forgotten pretty soon.

Giants Win:

Here is where it gets sticky. Eli Manning will go from a fluke winner who got on a hot streak and pulled a game out at the end that he had no business winning to being a respected quarterback. A two time Super Bowl winning quarterback. Who beat HOF quarterback Brady. TWICE! All of a sudden the air gets thin very quickly.

People start saying he is a winner in a way his HOF brother was not. He is clutch. He has to start being mentioned with Elway, Simms, Young, and Bradshaw. Suddenly what he did in 2008 was no longer lucky but a foreshadow. Gulp. If he were to win one more, I don’t know if you could keep him out of the HOF.

When you realize this suddenly you will get scared. I know I did. My decision became clear. The Giants scenario cannot be allowed to happen. We cannot allow an Eli Manning “legacy” to come into existence. He must stay with the Mark Rippens and Trent Dilfers of the world. The alternatives are too terrifying to allow to fester and gestate.

Prediction:

Patriots 42 – 14. Why? Because that is what I want to happen.