Cheaterbowl 2015

Welcome to Cheater bowl 2015!

So everyone now knows the Patriots cheated. Tom Brady obviously was involved and oversaw the deflating of his team’s footballs. It is doubtful this was just a onetime only thing and they probably have been doing this for a while but finally got caught.

Just terrible.

However, this action pales in comparison to what is going on the other side of the ball. The Seahawks are masters of cheating. They have perfected and institutionalized it. The Seahawks cheated so badly in the Super Bowl last year they forced the league to adopt sweeping preseason pass interference rules that lead to a record setting number of preseason penalties for teams. This was all the result of the Seahawks interfering on every play last  year, daring the refs to call it. The refs blinked and the Seahawks cheated their way to a trophy.

So we are left with choosing between these two cheaters on whom to cheer for: the ones who broke off field rules to gain a small edge or the ones who abused the core tenants of the game challenging the integrity of the sport.

The choices are clear:

  1. If you want to win, you must cheat.
  2. You should cheer for the lesser of the two infractions, so:
  3. Go Patriots!!!

go patriots

Who ya gonna cheer for?

We have one of the worst most unexciting Super Bowls coming up. Something I think most of us will barely be able to watch. This will not be a repeat of the feel good story of 2008 that captures a national audience. This is a regional bowl where only the fans of these cities will be able to muster the energy to care. This is like the Nazis versus Communists. You just wish both could lose and lose big.

So what to do? This is the Super Bowl after all. Normally the plan is to cheer for the underdog or the winner of the NFC. However that is Giants. Calling a team like that from New York underdogs is like saying the Titanic was a nice little boat. Cheering for them is just icky. With that plan right out what is Plan B?

Plan B starts with drinking. Lots of it. The game may suck but the party doesn’t have to. Just stay away from the game. Focus on the national anthem. Pay attention to the halftime show.

Guess what? That is not going to work. You are a sports fan. You will not be able to help taking a side. It is what you do. Since you will not be able to help yourself you might as well prepare so you can go into the game with a fan plan. Otherwise you might get caught up in the moment and end up cheering for a team you will later regret ever backing.

Let’s break this down scientifically so we can pick the right team.

       I.          Which city do you hate less?

This is a tough question as both cities are pretty terrible. However for me I have to go with Boston. We are only rivals in basketball. With NY I have strong rivalries in all sports. The cumulative hate is just greater even if none of the NY rivalries match the individual hate for the Celtics. Boston is also a better city in the “city” sense. They have a slightly higher historical class and you can respect the Garden or the Green Monster. MSG is the home of basketball but come on son, all NY football is played in NJ. In a swamp. Massive points lost here. Remember we are basically comparing Axe murderers to shooting spree murderers so it is very hard to say anything good about anything here.

     II.          Hall of Fame considerations / Legacy

This is the real determining factor to me. Let’s look at the two outcomes:

Patriots Win:

Is anyone getting into the Hall of Fame now who wasn’t before? Another Super Bowl win doesn’t add anything to Brady’s or Belichick’s resume. They were already in. Stopping a perfect season in 2008 would have given them a huge legacy boost. None of that is in play here. This will just be +1 and most likely will be forgotten pretty soon.

Giants Win:

Here is where it gets sticky. Eli Manning will go from a fluke winner who got on a hot streak and pulled a game out at the end that he had no business winning to being a respected quarterback. A two time Super Bowl winning quarterback. Who beat HOF quarterback Brady. TWICE! All of a sudden the air gets thin very quickly.

People start saying he is a winner in a way his HOF brother was not. He is clutch. He has to start being mentioned with Elway, Simms, Young, and Bradshaw. Suddenly what he did in 2008 was no longer lucky but a foreshadow. Gulp. If he were to win one more, I don’t know if you could keep him out of the HOF.

When you realize this suddenly you will get scared. I know I did. My decision became clear. The Giants scenario cannot be allowed to happen. We cannot allow an Eli Manning “legacy” to come into existence. He must stay with the Mark Rippens and Trent Dilfers of the world. The alternatives are too terrifying to allow to fester and gestate.

Prediction:

Patriots 42 – 14. Why? Because that is what I want to happen.