The Truth About Ferguson

Here are some unpopular thoughts and musings I have been having about Ferguson. It could just be because I have been watching The Wire (Season 3!), but anyway I don’t hear this on any media and I think it gets the closest to the truth.

  1. Michael Brown got his justice. He attacked a cop, in his car, after robbing a store. He then charged that cop. He never put his hands up, that is just liberal agenda based media spin.
  2. I don’t feel that sorry for his parents. Sure it sucks they lost their son, no one should have to though that, but it seems pretty clear they did a bad job of raising him and keeping him away from bad elements. Ferguson isn’t west Baltimore or Watts or Compton. He had options and choices. Sure, they were hard but there was opportunity. He didn’t appear to take advantage of any of them.
  3. Cops are a tight nit brotherhood. They go through a lot and really only have themselves and their families that care about them. It is not an easy job, especially today with forces like defense attorneys and the Al Sharptons of the world keeping them in check. This is a necessary check though. We as a society give these people massive power. It must be held accountable.
  4. This is why when a cop is killed they go rabid. One of their own, one of the only people who care about them has been killed. They go all out, a lot more than if you or me was killed. Perhaps it just because they are desensitized to us getting killed but not their own. Is that a good thing? No. Is that a reality we need to judge things by? Yes.
  5. I ranted about the militarization of the police here before, but it is still a problem. The Police Military Industrial Complex feeds these incidents and raids. Most of it is in vain due to a failed war on drugs and an overreaction to the war on terror. These are things people don’t want to think about, preferring to just make it black and white (on either side.) but it is not. This is a complex problem with root causes no politician wants to face because it opens them up to attack. They think the American people can’t be rational about this. Perhaps they are right.
  6. Prosecutors and police are like Peas and Carrots. They go hand in hand. You can’t build a successful case as a DA without the cooperation of the police. They need the evidence and the testimony of the police. They cannot step outside those bounds and be seen going after a cop. That is a sure way to kill your career which is based off networking. Most DAs want to run for office, as a DA or a judge. Good luck getting elected if you cross the police. Even if they leave and become defense attorneys they need connections with judges inside the system to win cases. Burning those bridges to prosecute a cop who you know is innocent? Not likely.
  7. And that brings us to the Grand Jury. Most Grand Juries are shams used by prosecutors to get a trial. They are short and only show the prosecutor’s side. Not this one. The DA did his best to show all the evidence, acting really as a defense attorney for Officer Wilson. He was not trying to get that case to trial. By him being fair and showing all the evidence he did his side a massive blow. Was it justice? Perhaps, but it was outside the way of things are done and the system we have setup. It looks great to the media and the pundits because they can spin it pro cop.
  8. Would Officer Wilson have won a trial? Hard to say, but based the evidence we have, it looks like it. He was denied this chance to defend himself in open court. He was also spared months of heartache and huge financial bills. He avoided the finicky nature of a jury and the chance he could have been convicted. Which would not have been justice. You have realize the circus this trial would have been and what he would have gone through. It would have been a nightmare for him.
  9. So in the end the right result was reached, but it was unfair and biased and that is the way our system works. Even as we try to make police accountable huge forces work against that and they have a lot of money and resources. There number one weapon though is the ignorance, especially of white America, of what the system really is and how it really works. People don’t want to know these details, they want to think of police as Andy Griffith, but the reality is far, far from Mayberry.

Miley Shouldn’t Stop

As you know all anyone can talk about is Miley Cyrus’ performance at the VMAs. Many have asked for my opinion, but I have been saving up my thoughts and letting them percolate, in order to provide them to you all fresh and real.

First off, I loved it. It was a bit underwhelming for what we were promised and there was little new material here if you have spent any time with the We Can’t Stop video (grills up!) before. Now, was it good? No. Of course not, but that is not the point here. The point is that the harvest is just about ready and we need to start getting ready to bring it in:

http://www.southparkstudios.com/full-episodes/s12e02-britneys-new-look

Of course South Park has shown us the way here, and as with most things, provides a guiding compass point for most of the moral dilemmas we face today. The other key thing to the harvest is that she has inspired millions of the female youths to want to be like her with her Hanna Montana shtick. Now those girls are ready to be inspired by her again. Congrats next generation of boys! You win.

Was it hot? Here is where things get tricky. No, it was not. Miley is great twerker. She has obvious talent but she ruins it in two tragic ways. First, her hair is just terrible. This of course has been previously commented on well before the VMAs by a pretty amazing tweeter:

blogpost_miley_tweet

https://twitter.com/Butters646/status/370996997865472000

Second we have the whole tongue thing. Miley, it wasn’t kewl when Jordan it, and you are by far not the second or third best singer of all time. Something well pointed out by someone from your generation who will survive the harvest:

blogpost_miley_selenagomezpng

You also can’t dance unless you are twerking. You would be terrible on the poll. Just terrible. You raise your legs like a Frankencyrus. It’s just plain awful to watch. Say what you want about Britney today, but in her prime she could bring the moves.

Now there have been a lot of comments out there trying to degrade Miley, saying things like “Can you imagine how her father is feeling?” or “How would you feel if that was your daughter?”

If that was my daughter I would feel ecstatic!

Think about it. If Miley was your daughter that would mean she would have been Hanna Montana. That means millions of Disney dollars in my bank account. That means I was married to her mom. How is any of this a possible loss for me? I would be laughing all the way to the bank.

Song of the Summer 2012 Edition

I have searched long and hard for the song of the summer for this year. I have delayed this email almost two months since the official start of the Summer on May 4th (The day Avengers was released signifying the first summer blockbuster which we all know is the omen or Ides that correspond to the Summer season starting.)

Unfortunately for some of you the results will not be what you are looking for. However there is only one song that transcends above the chaff to be a universal anthem that speaks to the masses. It meets all pertinent criteria:

  1. It is ranked #1 on Billboard’s charts.
  2. Massive YouTube’s hits. (116 million at this counting.)
  3. It is catchy, with an amazing hook.
  4. You can listen to it over and over again.
  5. There are lots of remixes. Feel free to Google them. (Avoid the Chipmunks, unless you are into that kind of thing.)
  6. It has inspired parities and cult like worship.
  7. Major pop connections and a pop hero as a label mentor.

Will it be as big as LMFAO’s monster last year? No. But it is fun song, for a fun happy summer. Something we all could use. Of course I speak of Carly Rae Jepsen’s Call Me Maybe. Yes, this is your song of the summer. Nothing else comes close. Not a DJ mix. Not One Direction. There is no Katy Perry. There is no LMFAO. There is only Carly. Or maybe the Dolphin Cheerleaders. I have already converted my ringtone and notifications over. There is no resisting the Carly train, so you might as well get on and enjoy the ride. Maybe.

Bonus:

Carly has a new song out with Owl City!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5oez5deOLU

 

How do they make you go to that movie again?

Today we are going to delve deep into one of my favorite topics: Movie Marketing!

I DVR/TiVo everything but sometimes a commercial will slip through the cracks. This seems to be especially true for movies. Bad movies. I still debate whether I just notice the bad movie commercials more because they are so bad, but that is a different deep dive. For instance, I am so happy that John Carter came out in theaters so I won’t have to watch those horrible commercials anymore.

It seems there are always horrible movie commercials coming out though – Source Code, Immortals, Repo Men, and Red Tails to name just a few semi-recent ones. I was so happy on 11/12/11 because no longer would have to see Immortals ads. Then the Blu-Ray / DVD came out and I was subjected to more terribleness. Finally that dropped on 3/6 and I felt safe. Until the terrible Wrath of the Titans commercials started. It is like bad movie whack-a-mole.

In the pre and early internet days studios could drop 10-30 million on marketing and guarantee a good opening weekend for a bad movie. Now they can at best secure a mediocre weekend or slightly better if the film is in certain genres. Two things are at the top of killing the studio’s ability to trick people into watching bad movies. The first is Rotten Tomatoes and Metacritic. You don’t need to read reviews to see if a movie is bad or not, you just need to see the score. Studio’s also can’t buy reviews anymore to hide the truth. A lot critics were / are for sale. Some critics were even made up. Studio’s loved this as they could buy enough to fake people into thinking bad was good, or good enough. Then the sample space grew so large because so many reviews were pulled in from so many sources that it because impossible to hide the truth. Web 2.0 FTW!

The second thing that happened is texting / internet enabled phones / twitter. Within minutes of a movie starting to play the tweets fly out. People text their friends to never see a movie. This social power of the people kills all the carefully crafted marketing messages. It must be so frustrating to work in these marketing departments trying to trick people into seeing all this drivel.

I think a part of this is they market to lowest common denominator. They just assume everyone is stupid and will fall for the wiz bang effects or star. They don’t think ordinary people care / want to see good movies. Either that or studios / marketers are stupid and can’t tell what a good movie consists of. I am not talking The Artist “good movies” here, I am talking Forest Gump, LOTR, Captain America, Saving Private Ryan, Top Gun,  The Social Network and last year’s Moneyball, good movies. These are well crafted stories with good effects, good characters, quality acting and they are well paced. Unlike some POS art artist crap. (The idiocy of the Academy is a whole other topic.)

This “stupid” factor, whatever side it lies on, is a key component into why studios only make sequels now or copies of other movies. They have exhausted their ability to market crap as people figure out it is crap way to quickly now. We did it to ourselves! Of course the solution to the problem is to figure out how to make better movies so they don’t have to attempt to sell crap to people, but I guess that idea hasn’t occurred to anyone, if it did, it fell on deaf ears. Either they can hire some smarter writers / producers or stop lying in their marketing, or keep kicking the can of crap down the road. (Guess which option they appear to be making.)

But let’s say you have a stinker on your hands, what do you do? Consider the case of the Three Musketeers. You remade a classic, so you had a known brand, threw in all the modern PC stuff so you hit all your demographics, made it take place in France / Europe so you would get your foreign markets to see it. You had your star power and you marketed her as the reason to see the movie. You showed ridiculous special effects that would get the “stupid” kids to come and watch. Then for some unknown reason no one watched! Your opening weekend earned $8M on 3000+ screens, coming in at 4th place. Yikes! Luckily you only spent $75 million to make this turd puppy. Overseas would allow you to recoup your loses but a picture like this will have a DVD / Blu Ray release. Obviously your original marketing plan failed. How can you re-sell this?

Consider the original commercial:

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xkspbi_the-three-musketeers-new-tv-commercial-launched_shortfilms

Now take a look at the new DVD commercial:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kD5P9bFfnvk

Or how about the Movie poster versus the new DVD cover –

Theater:

DVD:

Notice something is missing? I guess Mila didn’t sample so well. Sacré bleu! Joan of Arc shunned? Say it isn’t so, but she is gone. So are the over the top moments in the commercial. It’s like they are trying say the movie isn’t about giant airships shooting fire. Of course that makes the rebranding commercial very short because the movie really is about fireball shooting giant airships. But at least they are trying to trick people picking this up, like it is a whole different movie. Marketing: If the truth doesn’t work for a movie, make sure to lie better next time.

Some of us don’t forget though. We remember the failure, and more importantly the 26% fresh rating on RottenTomatoes.

 

Supermodel? A blast from the past

Has Kate Upton revived something long thought dead? In this age of Internet instant gratification and youXXX is the Supermodel back? This is a revival on a Jurassic Park scale. No one would have thought this possible but just like when Bieber used the Internets to recreate the male teenage singer, also thought dead after Michael Jackson grew up, so Kate has rebirthed the Supermodel.

A lot of people have been pretending to be Supermodels, like Tom Brady’s Yoko wife, Gisele Bundchen and the other stars of Victoria Secret lingerie parade. Most ended up as fodder tossed out of Leonardo Dicaprio’s or George Clooney’s bedroom. Heidi Klum tried to rise to the top with her Halloween shenanigans and strange marriage to Seal (now divorced.) But they never had “it”. Either too skinny, too foreign, or too lacking in synapse firing skills none of these models rose to the top. They never broke out of their Vogue monologue and hit the mainstream.

Without Supermodels we have been filling in with reality stars – Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton; actresses – Scarlett Johansson or Megan Fox and failed actresses – Lindsay Lohan. We have also absorbed the strange hybrids full of the crazy – Tila Tequila I am looking at you here. But models? No.

Even Upton’s rise to fame was all rated PG. Paris and Kim had to resort to underground sex tapes. Kate? She made a tape all right. A tape of her doing the dougie at a clippers game. This endearing 5 minutes was not the reason in and of itself of her rise, as I doubt you or me doing the same thing would result in a modeling contract, but it was a huge catalyst in an oversaturated media driven world that allowed her cream to rise.

It was assumed porn stars had destroyed the youthful almost innocence associated with Super Models. Sport Illustrated? Really? Is Maxim magazine still even published? The days of a Kristy Brinkley poster hanging in some young male’s room of yesteryear were assumed to be supplanted by a flush of porn sites running the gamut of every possible taste imaginable.

Perhaps it was this overabundance of pornography (and the freeness of it that is destroying the porn industry) that left the door open for a fresh face from Michigan via Melborne to save the popular modeling industry. Since cash left the porn industry are there even real porn stars anymore? Who is left to spend $25 dollars on one DVD? And it is not like you want Blu Ray porn.

The evidence is piling up of her Super Modelness. Consider this ad. Is it something only a Supermodel could make? (Or a reality star in her prime which we used to replaced Supermodels. Nitpicker.)

http://www.longislandpress.com/2012/02/28/kate-upton-carls-jr-commercial-video/  (SNSFW) This is quite reminiscent of Cindy Crawford hocking Pepsi products back in the 90’s, a true demonstration of her SuperModel power. We haven’t seen the like since, at least not by anyone calling themselves models.

 

Is this a flash in the pan, a Jump Jive An’ Wail, moment or do we have a real rebirth? Has she made case that she made the leap and that she is a Supermodel? The upcoming days will tell. No matter what though, it is exciting to see something so old being something so new.

 

Oscars 2012

I’ve only seen one of the nominees and that was Moneyball. It was excellent. I fully support it winning. I only want to see two of the other films – Hugo and Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close. I might watch The Help. I want to make sure I never see The Artist, The Tree of Life, and War Horse. I am cheering hard against these last three. Especially The Artist.

Know what that tells me? The Artist is going to win. None of my movies ever do well at the Oscars. So if you are betting, put the farm on The Artist or perhaps hedge with The Tree of Life. I have no frickin clue what that movie is or why it was nominated.

Otherwise work on your outrage for when Moneyball and Brad Pitt get shafted at the Oscars.

Get ready for my 10 – 20 delayed tweeting Sunday night. Should be amazing!

Matthew Broderick

With his recent Super Bowl victory Matthew has broken back into the public consciousness. Or at least mine which is just as good. He inspired flashbacks to his glory years before the incident and the sellout. The incident has left a sour taste in my mouth for the last 15 years. It was just such an unthinkable act. Something so tragic that it was nearly impossible to maintain respect for him.

I speak of course of his marriage to the creature Sarah Jessica Parker. This was quickly followed up by the inspector Gadget sellout debacle. I have had my back turned to him ever since. However Honda reached out and made me look back and remember the man he was, not the man he became. And for that I have to thank them.

His early years were beyond impressive. We are talking off the charts life changing events. For a young white kid growing up in the suburbs Broderick’s work here inspired a lifetime cynicism, sarcasm, games, fantasy, and slacker excellence. War Games and Ferris may not have directly inspired me to want to head into Computer Science but they did do several things for sure:

  1. Make me want start a Global Thermonuclear War and eat at Burger King.
  2. Assume no one in charge has any idea what they are really doing.
  3. Use my talents for mischief and otherwise slacker behavior knowing it could all be fixed in the end. I mean, look at me now!
  4. You can always win Tic Tac Toe. You just have to keep trying.

Besides the above two megahits Broderick also brought us Ladyhawke during this period. It was of course a dangerous fantasy movie that for some reason was always on HBO or Cinemax and therefore I watched it all the time as well. This plus LOTR and RPGs helped hinder my development for years. Thank God for football and sports. Many others were laid low by these traps but this was all part of the Broderick charm.

Broderick also produced the best Civil War movie ever – Glory. Name one better. Gettysburg? Ha. Keep trying. You have to have characters and character growth to tell a real story. Name one in Gettysburg. That Glory was not even nominated for Best Picture is still a travesty to this day. My Left Foot? Come on Son!

The Lion King is still the best Disney movie. Not Aladdin or Ferngully or Avatar or any of their other hippie crap. This movie is the only saving grace for that institution. It was an amazing tale and Broderick did an excellent job of voice acting even though his career was on a downward spiral at this point.

After that Broderick’s career is a series of landmines except for the excellent Election with America’s blonde sweetheart Reese Witherspoon.

Will one commercial make up for over a decade of failure and mediocrity? No. It cannot. What it can do is form a bridge over the failure back to the past so we can remember him in better times before the incident, before the ineptitude. When he was a shining beacon of the power of the 80’s and their glory. When America was great and the future was so bright we had to wear shades.

Thank you Matthew for all the memories and terrible life choices you inspired in me.

We so Hungry

I am hungry. Starved even. It has been almost a year since the last great pop sensation broke. In between we have been delighted by Katy Perry and of course LMFAO but it was of course Rebecca Black that produced the music of substance and sustenance of last year.

Gaga was excellent but it has been what, a couple months since she last gave a us a new song? She used to come out with a song a month. Plus she is getting played. Don’t get me wrong, she is still good, but there is no mystery there. She is like chicken parm. That is one of my favorites foods but I know what I am getting. Rihanna falls into the same camp.

We need something new to gnaw on.  A perusable of the Billboard top 100 offers no comfort. Adele? Kelly Clarkson. Even a song called “Good Feeling” is depressing. The Adele plus NickiM combo is better than Mike Tyson’s one two punch. It just floors quality music and the world is worse for it.

I was hoping something really old could bring it. Like a nice retro moment reformed. A phoenix rising from the ashes of pop culture. This was the hope and prayer for Madonna. Unfortunately the sweet melody that she started was tainted with the worst trash of the modern era: Nicki Minaj. She single handedly destroyed all hope for Give Me All Your Luvin. Her idiocy and terrible rapping ability make for beyond unlistenable songs. She is the Blake Griffin of music.

Disgusting.

Revolting.

What is wrong with everyone? It is like the country is depressed or something. Well things were really depressed in the 1970’s. And you know what that got us? Besides me? Michael FUCKING Jackson.

Where are you Mike II? We all need some help up in this place.

Poor Little Cougars

Outrageous.

 

Despicable.

 

Disastrous.

http://abclocal.go.com/wls/story?section=news/bizarre&id=8515384

Utah – You are on the list. What kind of message are you sending by denying the lovable cougar mascothood? Does this imply that existing cougar schools are somehow full of 40+ women preying on the student population? What’s next? Will the Orangemen have to change their name because of the association with John Boehner? And don’t get me started on the University of South Carolina. Or the College of Charleston. Or even the College of Computing. Should students be discouraged from attending these fine institutions? (Well, maybe the University of South Carolina.)

What message is being sent to these kids? Last time I checked BYU was the home of the Cougars. Does this mean this high school should break off ties with the most famous and popular school in the state of Utah? Of course not. What does this say about Jimmer Fredette? Did he go to BYU just for the hunting? Poor Jimmer, tainted for life.

Let’s get these school administrator’s minds out of the gutter and restore the proud status and reputation of the mighty cougar.

Radioactive Vampire Unicorn Blood

Originally Posted January 14, 2009

 

So I finished watching True Blood Season 1. What did I learn? That everything is about blood(drugs) and sex. It’s either having sex with a vampire and them biting you or drinking vampire blood / tripping and having sex. While this can be entertaining and works just fine as the central plot to a B horror movie, can it stand up as the major plot for a whole TV series?

It sure as hell can if you keep casting women like Ana Paquin in lead roles. Anyway, this got me thinking: What other types of blood would be worth harvesting for super powers?

Zombies? No way. You’d turn into a zombie silly!

Ninja’s? No. They are just highly skilled humans.

Pirates or Robots? Maybe robot blood if it would not kill you. Like Voltron blood.

Spider Man blood? A good bet. It’s radioactive and a spider bite made Peter have super powers.

Superman? How you gonna get it? You can’t pierce his skin.

X Men types? There has to be a better way to get a mutant gene.

Alien from Alien? Possibly. It’s acid, but there might be a way to take it to give you alien powers. Wasn’t this Alien 3 or 4?

Smurf? Now that is just silly. Maybe Fraggles. No to Pound Puppies, but yes to Care Bears. The stare power is freakin awesome.

Definitely unicorn blood. That has all kinds of crazy goodness up in there. I think it lets you make rainbows and stuff.

What’s the best? Perhaps a vampire unicorn that has been bit by a radioactive spider. That’s what I am placing my bet on.