As you know all anyone can talk about is Miley Cyrus’ performance at the VMAs. Many have asked for my opinion, but I have been saving up my thoughts and letting them percolate, in order to provide them to you all fresh and real.

First off, I loved it. It was a bit underwhelming for what we were promised and there was little new material here if you have spent any time with the We Can’t Stop video (grills up!) before. Now, was it good? No. Of course not, but that is not the point here. The point is that the harvest is just about ready and we need to start getting ready to bring it in:

http://www.southparkstudios.com/full-episodes/s12e02-britneys-new-look

Of course South Park has shown us the way here, and as with most things, provides a guiding compass point for most of the moral dilemmas we face today. The other key thing to the harvest is that she has inspired millions of the female youths to want to be like her with her Hanna Montana shtick. Now those girls are ready to be inspired by her again. Congrats next generation of boys! You win.

Was it hot? Here is where things get tricky. No, it was not. Miley is great twerker. She has obvious talent but she ruins it in two tragic ways. First, her hair is just terrible. This of course has been previously commented on well before the VMAs by a pretty amazing tweeter:

https://twitter.com/Butters646/status/370996997865472000

Second we have the whole tongue thing. Miley, it wasn’t kewl when Jordan it, and you are by far not the second or third best singer of all time. Something well pointed out by someone from your generation who will survive the harvest:

You also can’t dance unless you are twerking. You would be terrible on the poll. Just terrible. You raise your legs like a Frankencyrus. It’s just plain awful to watch. Say what you want about Britney today, but in her prime she could bring the moves.

Now there have been a lot of comments out there trying to degrade Miley, saying things like “Can you imagine how her father is feeling?” or “How would you feel if that was your daughter?”

If that was my daughter I would feel ecstatic!

Think about it. If Miley was your daughter that would mean she would have been Hanna Montana. That means millions of Disney dollars in my bank account. That means I was married to her mom. How is any of this a possible loss for me? I would be laughing all the way to the bank.