Cheaterbowl 2015

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Welcome to Cheater bowl 2015!

So everyone now knows the Patriots cheated. Tom Brady obviously was involved and oversaw the deflating of his team’s footballs. It is doubtful this was just a onetime only thing and they probably have been doing this for a while but finally got caught.

Just terrible.

However, this action pales in comparison to what is going on the other side of the ball. The Seahawks are masters of cheating. They have perfected and institutionalized it. The Seahawks cheated so badly in the Super Bowl last year they forced the league to adopt sweeping preseason pass interference rules that lead to a record setting number of preseason penalties for teams. This was all the result of the Seahawks interfering on every play last  year, daring the refs to call it. The refs blinked and the Seahawks cheated their way to a trophy.

So we are left with choosing between these two cheaters on whom to cheer for: the ones who broke off field rules to gain a small edge or the ones who abused the core tenants of the game challenging the integrity of the sport.

The choices are clear:

  1. If you want to win, you must cheat.
  2. You should cheer for the lesser of the two infractions, so:
  3. Go Patriots!!!

go patriots

The Revitalization of A Legend

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College Football got a little of its dignity back last week. Let’s look at what happened and the ramifications:

  1. The NCAA’s primary purpose is to exploit athletes to make money for big time programs and conferences. They have arcane rules used to keep players as indentured servants and then hand out wrist slaps to keep the public thinking they are holding up noble ideas why in reality they are down in the muck taking a piece of the pie.
  2. Some programs stand up to this, like Notre Dame. One man truly believed in the ideals of a student athlete and spent over 50 years creating a world where sons and grandsons would play and be allowed to get a degree. The degree might have been in something we consider trivial, like parks management, but they would have earned it and gone through the process and the work for it and would be much better people for the rest of their lives because of it.
  3. The NCAA hated this man and his principals. For decades they tried to find something wrong with his recruiting and coaching in their vast rulebook. They could finding nothing. He was clean, at least as far as regular on field on issues.
  4. Then they got their silver bullet and shot it immediately. A terrible child sex abuse scandal perpetuated by a former assistant coach who was probably dismissed for it in 1998 but with no criminal proof found in an investigation. Sandusky was seen abusing a child on campus and the Penn State administration did nothing about it. They were found guilty and fired.
  5. Joe Paterno was told and reported it to his higher ups, as is NCAA policy. He followed the letter of the law. Could he have done more? Sure. Hindsight is easy. Should he have done more? Probably. It is blight on his character and program, one those still alive still have to bear the burden of.
  6. However, the NCAA response was vindictive and irresponsible. They finally could bring down that man they had tried so hard for decades to tarnish. They exceeded their authority and knew Penn State would cave because at the time they just wanted the scandal to go away.
  7. The Paterno’s knew better. They hired an investigator to rebut the Freeh report.
  8. A state senator investigated the internal NCAA communications and knew they were overreaching their authority.
  9. A lawsuit was filed and instead of going to court, was settled, restoring the wins stripped away from a legend.
  10. The statue that was ungraciously removed is the next step to redemption.
  11. The fraud Bobby Bowden whose fans were crowing over the demise of Paterno, who knew the only way Bowden could be the most winningest coach was through using the system, crowed about how terrible Penn State was to get their way. Those people and Bowden have now been exposed and put back in their place – 2nd. Remember, if you aren’t first, you’re last.

And so now the world is a little bit brighter. Penn State can start to hold its head up again, and the Big 14 can grow from this as their legacy as a historic conference gains the winningest coach ever back. I personally can’t be fully back on board till the statue is back, but I understand how some are ready to board the band wagon. There is a good chance the statue will be back though, here’s hoping.

The Truth About Ferguson

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Here are some unpopular thoughts and musings I have been having about Ferguson. It could just be because I have been watching The Wire (Season 3!), but anyway I don’t hear this on any media and I think it gets the closest to the truth.

  1. Michael Brown got his justice. He attacked a cop, in his car, after robbing a store. He then charged that cop. He never put his hands up, that is just liberal agenda based media spin.
  2. I don’t feel that sorry for his parents. Sure it sucks they lost their son, no one should have to though that, but it seems pretty clear they did a bad job of raising him and keeping him away from bad elements. Ferguson isn’t west Baltimore or Watts or Compton. He had options and choices. Sure, they were hard but there was opportunity. He didn’t appear to take advantage of any of them.
  3. Cops are a tight nit brotherhood. They go through a lot and really only have themselves and their families that care about them. It is not an easy job, especially today with forces like defense attorneys and the Al Sharptons of the world keeping them in check. This is a necessary check though. We as a society give these people massive power. It must be held accountable.
  4. This is why when a cop is killed they go rabid. One of their own, one of the only people who care about them has been killed. They go all out, a lot more than if you or me was killed. Perhaps it just because they are desensitized to us getting killed but not their own. Is that a good thing? No. Is that a reality we need to judge things by? Yes.
  5. I ranted about the militarization of the police here before, but it is still a problem. The Police Military Industrial Complex feeds these incidents and raids. Most of it is in vain due to a failed war on drugs and an overreaction to the war on terror. These are things people don’t want to think about, preferring to just make it black and white (on either side.) but it is not. This is a complex problem with root causes no politician wants to face because it opens them up to attack. They think the American people can’t be rational about this. Perhaps they are right.
  6. Prosecutors and police are like Peas and Carrots. They go hand in hand. You can’t build a successful case as a DA without the cooperation of the police. They need the evidence and the testimony of the police. They cannot step outside those bounds and be seen going after a cop. That is a sure way to kill your career which is based off networking. Most DAs want to run for office, as a DA or a judge. Good luck getting elected if you cross the police. Even if they leave and become defense attorneys they need connections with judges inside the system to win cases. Burning those bridges to prosecute a cop who you know is innocent? Not likely.
  7. And that brings us to the Grand Jury. Most Grand Juries are shams used by prosecutors to get a trial. They are short and only show the prosecutor’s side. Not this one. The DA did his best to show all the evidence, acting really as a defense attorney for Officer Wilson. He was not trying to get that case to trial. By him being fair and showing all the evidence he did his side a massive blow. Was it justice? Perhaps, but it was outside the way of things are done and the system we have setup. It looks great to the media and the pundits because they can spin it pro cop.
  8. Would Officer Wilson have won a trial? Hard to say, but based the evidence we have, it looks like it. He was denied this chance to defend himself in open court. He was also spared months of heartache and huge financial bills. He avoided the finicky nature of a jury and the chance he could have been convicted. Which would not have been justice. You have realize the circus this trial would have been and what he would have gone through. It would have been a nightmare for him.
  9. So in the end the right result was reached, but it was unfair and biased and that is the way our system works. Even as we try to make police accountable huge forces work against that and they have a lot of money and resources. There number one weapon though is the ignorance, especially of white America, of what the system really is and how it really works. People don’t want to know these details, they want to think of police as Andy Griffith, but the reality is far, far from Mayberry.

Plan on Supporting the US 2014 World Cup team? Then you are a MURDERER

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As you may or may not know, the World Cup of Soccer will be played this year in Brazil. (If you didn’t know, congrats – you are a patriot.) What Brazil has done in order to host these games is criminal. They have oppressed and murdered their own citizens in order to have a few balls bounce around on a field. It is disgusting and beyond reprehensible.

http://espn.go.com/espn/feature/story/_/id/10079392/generation-june

If you support the games, including supporting the US National Team, then you support the regime that did this. You are no better than they are. You might as well go to the Brazil club up on Sample next to the Port-something and open fire. There is no difference between the two. NONE.

Supporting soccer in Brazil means you are an accomplice to MURDER of the 1st degree. When you see someone supporting this endeavor, call them what they are – murderers. Cold blooded killers.

The World Cup is unlike the Olympics. When the Olympics are hosted in a totalitarian regime like China or Russia it is opportunity for freedom lovers worldwide to enter those countries and demonstrate the sweet taste of freedom and how amazing it is by having the US crush the local team in the medal count. Those are medals of freedom raining down on the cold hand of oppression.

The Soccer world cup is organized to celebrate an activity that is an anathema to freedom – Soccer. No one who loves freedom excels at Soccer, well, the USA Women’s team does because they win gold medals, but no one else. Prime athletes are out playing Football and Basketball – the sports of freedom. Is it a surprise that as the USA has gotten better at Soccer, our freedoms have diminished? There is a direct correlation between how many drones and NSA spying programs we have to the number of international victories the US has won in soccer.

You will know the USA has become the US of Amerika or the USSA when this country final wins a world cup. That will be the final breaking point where the only option will be armed revolution. Everything you hold scared will be dead and rotting at the bottom the Grand Canyon. This is just how unfreedom loving soccer is. It also gives your kids brain damage from the constant head collisions.

To Summarize:

  1. Soccer = anathema to Freedom.
  2. Brazil repressed and murdered their people to sponsor soccer games.
  3. Support for the Brazil games is support for murder.
  4. Support for the US team in the world cup is supporting Brazil.
  5. Therefore supporting the US Soccer team is supporting murder.

Do you want to be an accomplice to murder? Is that what lives in your heart? Then get behind this vile team, otherwise stand up for freedom and boycott these games!

Miley Shouldn’t Stop

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As you know all anyone can talk about is Miley Cyrus’ performance at the VMAs. Many have asked for my opinion, but I have been saving up my thoughts and letting them percolate, in order to provide them to you all fresh and real.

First off, I loved it. It was a bit underwhelming for what we were promised and there was little new material here if you have spent any time with the We Can’t Stop video (grills up!) before. Now, was it good? No. Of course not, but that is not the point here. The point is that the harvest is just about ready and we need to start getting ready to bring it in:

http://www.southparkstudios.com/full-episodes/s12e02-britneys-new-look

Of course South Park has shown us the way here, and as with most things, provides a guiding compass point for most of the moral dilemmas we face today. The other key thing to the harvest is that she has inspired millions of the female youths to want to be like her with her Hanna Montana shtick. Now those girls are ready to be inspired by her again. Congrats next generation of boys! You win.

Was it hot? Here is where things get tricky. No, it was not. Miley is great twerker. She has obvious talent but she ruins it in two tragic ways. First, her hair is just terrible. This of course has been previously commented on well before the VMAs by a pretty amazing tweeter:

blogpost_miley_tweet

https://twitter.com/Butters646/status/370996997865472000

Second we have the whole tongue thing. Miley, it wasn’t kewl when Jordan it, and you are by far not the second or third best singer of all time. Something well pointed out by someone from your generation who will survive the harvest:

blogpost_miley_selenagomezpng

You also can’t dance unless you are twerking. You would be terrible on the poll. Just terrible. You raise your legs like a Frankencyrus. It’s just plain awful to watch. Say what you want about Britney today, but in her prime she could bring the moves.

Now there have been a lot of comments out there trying to degrade Miley, saying things like “Can you imagine how her father is feeling?” or “How would you feel if that was your daughter?”

If that was my daughter I would feel ecstatic!

Think about it. If Miley was your daughter that would mean she would have been Hanna Montana. That means millions of Disney dollars in my bank account. That means I was married to her mom. How is any of this a possible loss for me? I would be laughing all the way to the bank.

My Initial Thoughts on the Next Generation Consoles

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So here is my take on the upcoming Xbox One and PS4. The Xbox One has some well documented problems. These primarily revolve around the utterly strange concept Microsoft keeps trying to drive down our throats in that we want to talk to our TVs. When are they going to learn? People don’t want to talk to things. If so, I would be dictating this right now. It is not natural. We don’t even talk on our phones anymore. This obsession to be “right” about the Kinect drove up the price and turned off the gamer audience. If the hope was to get the causal gamer / TV user to be the primary audience, they blew that with the price point. People bought Wiis because they were cheap. They are not going to drop $500 bucks for this in the numbers Microsoft wants.

The Xbox Ones problems have little to do with used games and “always on” technology. The US has 72% broadband adoption, and growing. The future of the cloud and working from home demands this to grow to over 90%, probably before the end of this decade. That means MS is hitting the 90% use case of the people they think will buy an XBO. I think this includes me and every one of my friends that has a 360. The 360’s compelling advantage has always been live, and everyone I know has live. What does live mean today? Always On and broadband. For us the proposed changes will have zero impact here. In addition, they think offering the compelling immersive living room experience will bring in a larger entertainment market share than the 360 that was more game focused. I think this is a great story; too bad MS did possibly the worst job of marketing this ever with inane focus on Kinect.

They also totally blew the marketing / explanation on the used game front, allowing Sony to sucker a lot of people. First off – no DRM on a PS4. Really? Does the PS3 have DRM? Yes! You have to have the disc in to play. Can you make a copy of the disc and have it work? No. This is the definition of DRM! I can’t believe how many people fell for this. However, because Microsoft hedged their bets with discs, they left themselves wide open. They should have had no disc and marketed the system as a modern device and ecosystem that doesn’t require any discs, just like people are loving steam on their PCs. In any event, I would not be rushing out and hugging the company that invented the CD root kit.

The iPhone is dead! Rejoice!

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The iPhone is beat. Trashed. In recession. Hanging out with Mitt Romney. It will never come back. We have won a great victory that needs to be heralded. You see it is now down to 15% of the market, with Android phones now accounting for about 75% of the market with 91.5% growth in a market that grew 46.4. Amazing!

Don’t believe me: Read up. I don’t make up happiness of this sort; I just live it.

Now the question is: What happened? How can something so totally awesome come to be? The answer is the growth rate of the market. In the past there were two markets: regular cell phones and smart phones. Apple always made the best smart phone up until 2011 when they had their Gettysburg / Midway moment and the Galaxy entered our milieu. In the past Apple dominated joke smart phones like the Symbian. Android reached parity with version 2 and then a mighty war broke out over features and price. Apple lost the price war and while they maintained their users pretty well, they lost the people coming over from the regular phone market.

The empirical evidence of this should be obvious to you. Go anywhere where normal people are who are not elitist tech fan boys (SF is right out, yo), say the Greenbrier , and look around. I am sure will see way more Android phones than Apple ones.

The salt of the earth honest folk chose Android over the elite Rush Limbaugh Apple user types. (Yes, Rush is a massive Apple fan, deal with it Mac Boy.) They chose based on bang for the buck, like they do with most everything. And for what they do, I suspect they are content and happy, just like us high end Android users are very happy with our phones and Apple users are happy with their phones.

There is little out there that will reverse the course of this unless Apple changes it’s spots and want to make a cheap phone. Do you see that happening? Didn’t think so.  Of course Windows Phone could come along and bite into the Android market and cause… Just kidding. You windows phone users are so adorable with your doubling of market share to be actually listed outside “other” now. If you see a windows phone user out in the wild, make sure to take a picture, they are as rare as Big Foot.

It has taken at least 4 years of constant battle to reach this point, but I think we can declare V-Android day. Go kiss a nurse. The war isn’t over though. The iPad is still out there getting stronger and the Mac book is an amazing piece of hardware. I had great hopes for Windows 8 cutting into this market but then I used Windows 8. Ugh, I hate having you on our side Microsoft. You’re the French.

We will have regroup and keeping working, forging ahead, fighting the good fight. It might take another 4 years, another 10 years but we must believe this beast can be beaten. The iPhone was first, (well really the Mac was first and android did the same thing to beat the iPhone that Intel/Microsoft did 15 years ago to win. ARE YOU LISTENING TO YOURSELF MICROSOFT!!!!), so the path to victory is out there. It just needs to be followed.

This should be inspiring:

Memories of the Before Time

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It is said that in the Before Time a great game existed.
A game played with samurai blades strapped to men’s feet.
Blades so sharp they forced the players into massive suits of armor,
Lest one cut befell a man.

They would fly over ice on mighty wings,
All battling in a massive ring of glass,
With fans chanting and screaming as if in a dome of thunder.

The game was played by men from the north,
These were toughest of the tough.
So tough they would lose teeth,
Beat each other senseless,
and then show up the next night and do it all again.

They carried massive sticks,
And shot projectiles at each other with lightning speed.
These men were predators of each other,
With only one goal in mind:
To be kings, so they could drink deeply from a giant cup.

There is told of a legend though.
Of a mighty girl who challenged the men.
“Cindy, Cindy!” the fans would chant.
She fought the men, and bested them at first.
But then the men found new champions,
And the girl was routed, reduced to a sniveling cry baby,
And lo, the world rejoiced as she was banished.

This was a world of hurricanes,
Where Senators and would rattle Sabres,
Where Rangers would fight wild coyotes and Panthers.
But what has happened to such an amazing game?
To such a world
How can it be gone?

If only we knew.
If only we knew.
Ah, the before time how we miss you.

Team USA!

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USA! USA! USA!

The Olympics start on Friday and it is once again time for the United States of America to assert its dominance. True the USA has been down a bit as world power lately, but it is not like anyone else has stepped up. China? Please, without the USA who is going to buy all their useless doohickeys? Greece?

So even with these tough economic times there are two things America dominates in: Superhero movies and sports. Every four years the summer Olympics comes around and all the other countries in the world think they have a shot. China did. Australia did. Russia does. And what happened? The USA trounced them. Destroyed them. Humbled them like kittens. These other countries have not even been close. Using the standard medal count, none of this ridiculous weighted average stuff (if you win a medal, you win a medal, it doesn’t matter first, second or third) you can see how the USA hasn’t had a competitor since 1992. That’s 20 years of shear dominance, not to mention an overwhelming 1000 medal overall lead!

Overall Medal count – All Time

USA

929

731.5

641.5

2302
USSR

440

357

325

1122
Great Britain

208.5

258.5

257.5

724.5
Germany

195.5

222

241

658.5
France

192

209

232

633
2008
USA

36

38

23

97
China

51

21

21

93
Russia

23

21

28

72
 2004
USA

36

39

27

102
Russia

27

27

38

92
China

32

17

14

63
 2000
USA

36

24

32

92
Russia

32

28

28

88
China

28

16

14

58
 1996
USA

44

32

25

101
Germany

20

18

27

65
Russia

26

21

15

62

Source:

http://www.nbcolympics.com/medals/medal-comparison.html

So we know the US is going to win, and win big. But what do you want to watch the USA win in? The obvious choice is basketball. Spain gave the US a good game yesterday, but in the end they were no match for the best players in the game. This may not be the dream team or the redeem team, but it is the best in the world and that kind of excellence cannot be missed. The USA should also dominate is women’s BB as well.

After that we have USA dominance in swimming. This is always a good way to start the Olympics. Phelps is back but the US is deep and excellent as well. When swimming peters out we get to dominate in track and field, especially on the women’s side. The world cannot even begin to compete with the depth and excellence of women of Team America (FUCK YEAH).

Then of course there is beach volleyball, a traditional favorite and a winning bet for Team USA. The US is also a favorite in  soccer (notice I say soccer, using the default gender for the sport. Men’s soccer and Men’s beach volleyball are the other sports. This is because the women’s side of the sport is immensely more popular than the men’s. And I mean in America because who cares what is popular is Paraguay?) Coincidentally both sports main competition is Brazil.

Now of course the real treat of the summer games, just like figure skating in the winter games, is gymnastics. (Once again Women’s is the default gender although men’s gymnastics is growing in popularity.) And the USA is loaded here as well with perhaps the best team they ever fielded, even better than the 1996 team.

Lead by 2011 World champion Jordyn Wieber the USA will face stiff completion from traditional rivals in China and Russia. Can they prevail? Is this America we are talking about? Of course they can!

There are other sports like shooting, handball, that rowing stuff, etc., that can be fun to watch but the above sports are what you want to set your DVRs for and are the can’t miss prospects for a summer of partisan rooting for the good guys. Get set to enjoy it!

Song of the Summer 2012 Edition

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I have searched long and hard for the song of the summer for this year. I have delayed this email almost two months since the official start of the Summer on May 4th (The day Avengers was released signifying the first summer blockbuster which we all know is the omen or Ides that correspond to the Summer season starting.)

Unfortunately for some of you the results will not be what you are looking for. However there is only one song that transcends above the chaff to be a universal anthem that speaks to the masses. It meets all pertinent criteria:

  1. It is ranked #1 on Billboard’s charts.
  2. Massive YouTube’s hits. (116 million at this counting.)
  3. It is catchy, with an amazing hook.
  4. You can listen to it over and over again.
  5. There are lots of remixes. Feel free to Google them. (Avoid the Chipmunks, unless you are into that kind of thing.)
  6. It has inspired parities and cult like worship.
  7. Major pop connections and a pop hero as a label mentor.

Will it be as big as LMFAO’s monster last year? No. But it is fun song, for a fun happy summer. Something we all could use. Of course I speak of Carly Rae Jepsen’s Call Me Maybe. Yes, this is your song of the summer. Nothing else comes close. Not a DJ mix. Not One Direction. There is no Katy Perry. There is no LMFAO. There is only Carly. Or maybe the Dolphin Cheerleaders. I have already converted my ringtone and notifications over. There is no resisting the Carly train, so you might as well get on and enjoy the ride. Maybe.

Bonus:

Carly has a new song out with Owl City!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5oez5deOLU